We hope
that you have found our online dating guide because you are looking
to enter the online dating world or are looking for ways to improve
your chances in finding someone through online dating. Either way,
we provide the tips you will need to greatly improve your chances
with your online dating experience.
Introduction
to Online Dating
This guide
has been created to help you navigate your way through online dating
and help you reach your personal goals. What are your personal goals
though? Have you chosen online dating because you are looking for
your soul mate, just want to date but don’t have time, looking for
casual sex or looking for something that isn’t considered
mainstream and the internet is the only place to find those
connections? Your personal dating goals will determine the type of
online dating site that you will need to be successful.
Technology
and Online Dating
Something
else to consider with the amount of new technology emerging, is how
you will connect to an online dating site. Sure, the personal
computer is the general method, but there are also online dating
services that can be utilized via smartphones and tablet pcs.
However, you may find that not all online dating sites can be reached
by each type of device. You should also consider that not every
online dating site has the funding of some of the bigger named online
dating companies. Furthermore, not every big name company excels at
creating online dating apps either.
First
decide which type of technology you are most accustomed to and have
available. From there it will make the decision easier. It should
be pointed out that many online dating sites are moving more towards
mobile technology and apps as these offer unique ways of finding
dates with location tracking and one click connections as opposed to
the limited technology of the personal computer. The number one
dating app is Social Connect for Facebook. An amazing new iPhone app
that the same company just released is available for free, SmartDate.
You should
also consider your level of comfort with using the technology. There
are some dating sites that utilize video chat, video profiles and in
some cases virtual dating. Social Connect implements virtual dating
in one of the most creative and productive ways that we have seen.
If you are interested in connecting to others in this manner, then
make sure to select on online dating service that provides for this
type of technology.
Free or
Pay Online Dating Sites
Another
consideration in your selection of online dating sites is whether you
are willing to pay for matchmaking services. Some sites and services
are completely free, most are funded through advertising revenue or
offer additional services for a price and then there are those online
dating sites and services that charge a monthly fee.
Either of
these types of online dating providers offers quality connections;
some have chosen to go the route of fee based and others have not.
This is not always an indicator of quality. There are many free
online dating sites that provide the same great services and support
as do the fee based online dating sites. Many adult sites are fee
based as are some of the need specific sites and services.
Personal Sense of Privacy
Some
people are comfortable with showing off everything about who they
are. Other people are a bit shy, don’t want to tell their friends
and family that they are gay or practice an alternate lifestyle and
for those people they should consider the security features of the
dating service. Some sites may use your photos and profiles in their
advertising. One site that is notorious for this is OkCupid. They
do have a disclaimer and an option for their clients to opt out of
it, but it is not generally known that one can do so. However,
OkCupid does make up for that with improved profile protection
features allowing for gays and lesbians to not be seen by straight
people. Some public figures like educators or civil servants may
also want to look for a site that does not use member profiles for
advertising purposes.
Need
Specific Online Dating
There are
a lot of dating sites out there that cater to very specific dating
desires. There are those that are considered mainstream and then
there are sites that are considered niche specific or adult. What is
considered mainstream lately though? Sites that are designed to
connect two people are what are generally considered mainstream
dating sites. This applies for either heterosexual or homosexual
people. Niche dating on the most part does the exact same as
mainstream dating sites but focuses on highly specific needs of their
clients. Niche dating can also include non-monogamous or monogamous
lifestyles such as polyamory. Remember that the term mainstream is
not a judgment, but rather a category of what is considered
traditional dating practices.
Finding
the Right Online Dating Website for Your Personal Goals
In order
to find the most success with your online dating endeavor it is
imperative that you select the right type of online dating site to
match your specific needs. Let’s consider some of the categories
first and then delve deeper into each one. If you have already made
your decision about which dating site, please continue to the next
section Setting up a Winning Profile.
Online
Dating Categories and Some Online Dating Site Suggestions:
This is
not an exhaustive list, however more sites will be added to the
online dating sites page in the near future.
OkCupid.com
PlentyofFish.com
True.com
Twofor.me
Youshouldobey.me
Youmywifeandme.com
Youmywifeand.me
Youmyhusbandand.me
Youdating.us
Setting up
a Winning Profile
Now that
you have selected the type of technology that you will use, free or
pay service and the type of online dating site best suited to your
needs you have already greatly improved your chances at success.
Writing your profile and designing it to attract the types of people
you want will take you through to the next steps of online dating.
Most sites have similar methods in which to create your online
profile. Each site will have specific pages or instructions on how
to create the profile for that site or service. This is a general
guide on how to write your online dating profile to maximize your
dating potential and options. Your goal is to have people
communicate with you. The way to achieve that goal is with a profile
that is designed to be visually pleasing, honest and accessible to
those you want to contact you.
Start with
the User Name
Consider
your login name, member name or user name, each site will have
different syntax, but this is the name that will represent you on the
online dating site. Look at some of the following usernames and
consider what kind of response is generated by them. What type of
person do you think the following member names represent?
Usernames
Bonerfuel
Sweetie1989
SexyVixen81
Ihatemensomuch
BookStoreOwner9
Confidentredhead
Solonelywaitingforyou
What do
these names say at first glance? Some reveal an age, some reveal a
world view and others let you know exactly what that person is
looking for. While your profile is meant to show others everything
about who you are and what you want, you need to realize that many
will skip over usernames that are not appealing. Because of this,
your chances will decline. It many not be a good idea to include
age. Some sites allow 18 year olds and others start at 21, but the
age does not need to go in your username. You username should be
catchy, show a little personality, but it can be used to entice
others to find out more about you. Desperation should also not be
included in your username. Even if you are desperate, please keep in
mind that desperation is not sexy in anyway.
Also keep
in mind that the type of site and your specific needs may alter the
type of name that you want. An adult site for instance may be suited
for usernames that are a racier or describe sexual acts that you are
interested in, however, for other sites, those types of usernames are
not recommended.
Look at
some of these other usernames and decide where these members may have
made a poor naming decision:
Usernames
AnimalLover69
BackDoorMama
iPfreely4you
BehindMeAllNight
While some
of these are indicative of preferences or even fondness of animals,
they do not do well on mainstream online dating sites. Some might
consider them crass or vulgar and it is recommended that you don’t
select a username like the aforementioned.
What makes
for an enticing username? A username that sounds friendly,
mysterious and honest. Trying to sum up exactly who you are in only
a few characters is not easy. That is why the username should be
used as something eye-catching and receptive to visitors. Remember
to be honest throughout the creation of your profile and that
includes your username selection. If you are not tall, don’t
include indications that you are tall. If you are not a doctor, then
don’t name yourself anything that would mislead.
What if
your username is already taken, should you accept the same username
but with an added number like the year of your birth? No, definitely
not, these should be avoided completely. Naming yourself Tigress9872
immediately demonstrates a lack of creativity. It may also identify
your age, which does not belong in your username. Try to find an
alternative before settling for a username that has been selected by
so many other people.
Once you
have selected a username that is enticing and that you feel
comfortable with, then the next step on most sites is a short
description of who you are and what you are looking for. These are
usually three to five sentences long and are used to give other
members a quick look at what you represent, what you are looking for
and the type of personality that you have.
The At a
Glance Profile
This is
the point where you have about two seconds to show someone what you
have to offer and what you are looking for. Your username and this
section are what comprise the very first impression a potential date
will have of you. This really has to be good.
Some of
you might find it a bit offensive being asked to limit all of your
accomplishments to just one sentence of text, but if you think of an
online dating profile more like an online dating resume, then that
one line of text could be considered your mission statement. It
isn’t easy condensing your sense of humor, charm, intelligence and
world views into such a little space, but using the three-word
description method might help you. By limiting the amount of words
available to you, it creates a stronger appreciation for that entire
sentence… so lets try it… use three words to describe who you
are.
This is a
good place to pull up http://thesaurus.com/
Consider
the basics first; are you funny, smart and athletic? So are a lot of
other people, so the best thing to do is find a synonym that you
really like and this will further present more of your personality
than just using generalized terms. Are you amusing or are you
clever? Sure, they basically mean funny, but each word and your
selection of that word expresses far more than just one word or even
one sentence might say about you. The addition of a hyphen to create
new words that describe you specifically can also be an effective
technique. Now that you have chosen your three words to describe
yourself, try to use them to elaborate into a one sentence heading
about you.
While the
heading can be a difficult point to get past for some, it is not the
most difficult. Later on, in most profiles, the questions will get a
lot more personal and very specific. In the meantime, let’s move
to something a little easier… your online profile pics.
Pics That
Click
Online dating sites often allow more than just
one photo to be displayed. Start with one and use the following tips
and then later apply that information to any other pics that you
would like to add. If you are one of those that gets stuck on this
point of creating the online profile, don’t worry, you are not
alone. The question that holds a lot of people up is “Which
picture should I use?” Others might wonder, “Where do I get a
pic?” If you aren’t technically savvy, don’t worry too much.
If you have a friend that has a smartphone with a camera or have one
of your own, then getting a pic will not be difficult.
Slapping
up a pic on the profile to just get past this part is not going to
work. This one photo will determine your success with online dating,
period. You will have to make this pic count and here are a few ways
that you can do that.
Your pic
must be real, recent and expressive. Tall order? It doesn’t have
to be. A real photo means that you can not, must not and will not
post a pic of your friend or some model that you found on the
internet. Doing so will completely negate any future you have in
online dating. The picture must be of you, not getting around that.
Recent nowadays means right this second, especially if you have a
webcam or a digital camera. This is where a lot of people make their
biggest mistakes though. If you are not happy with the appearance of
your body, listen, none of us are really truly happy with how we look
and that is only amplified when we are getting our photo taken.
The reason
that this is being brought up is because men and women that are not
happy with their body type often only take pictures of the neck up.
This is a mistake. Studies have shown that even with a beautiful
face, many people will skip over profiles where their pictures only
show above the neck. If you would like to improve your chances, then
include a full body shot. That usually means that you will need a
second person to help you take the photo or be able to setup the
timer on your digital camera. The third option would be to hire a
professional photographer that specializes in online profile
photography. Whichever method, the point is, just don’t show your
face but reveal the entire package so to speak.
This not
only adds to complete honesty but it adds to that real factor. The
more interest you have in being honest and real means the less time
you spend on playing games and being more approachable for it. It
also shows a sense of security with how you look, which is often
considered a very attractive attribute.
There are
technical aspects that you may implement to make your photo more
attractive; lighting, clothing that slims or poses that show your
best side is permitted. This is why so many people choose a
professional photographer, because they are trained and highly
skilled in these aspects.
What is an
expressive photo? Models often say that their best feature is their
eyes, that they can say all they want with them and nothing else. If
you are a happy person, smile but also smile with your eyes.
Having a
flattering profile picture can definitely help catch the eye of those
looking through dozens of typical, boring photos. Rather than using a
poorly lit, badly posed, snapshot taken by a friend, hire a
professional that knows how to utilize lighting to highlight your
best features, posing and clothing recommendations to hide what you
don’t want to emphasize, and can bring out your personality through
relaxed expressions and posing. Plus, a professional photographer can
do things like retouching blemishes, brightening eyes, and maybe even
smoothing out a wrinkle or two.
Keep in
mind, however, that slight enhancements are fine but you don’t want
a heavily altered photograph that even you, the subject, can no
longer recognize. Rotate out that profile picture if you feel it’s
no longer fresh or if your look has changed. Remember, a profile
picture is your first impression on a dating site, so if the saying
is true, “You never get a second chance to make a first
impression,” then you owe it to yourself to make sure that photo is
of the highest, professional quality possible.
